ok this shall be the post for yest.
erm..
how to i say abt my feeling yest?
lols.

sad.affected + happy?

went to watch jie match at tpy after work.
then i saw coach cindy.
my favourite coach.

after match decided to say hi to her.
and of cos.
im prepared to kanna shoot by her le.
lols.
got some super hurt comment.
tat it act affected my day.
but wad she say is realli true ba.

from last time de me and now realli change alot.
not only she is shock.
my ex nyp teammate also cannot reconised me
she stared at me for so long then she rem me.
=((
ha.sometime realli find myself so useless.

love sports so much.
a sportperson.
but when u tell others.
whu will believe?
"feel like laughing out loud man"

but nvm shaohua.
jiayou.
rem wad u told cindy yest?
"when u see me the next time, i will make sure u have no comment abt me"
this is what u say to her.
so make sure u prove her wrong.

been trying hard to think of ways.
wad to do and how to do it.
and whether can i achieve it?
haiz =(

all i can say is jiayou.
and dun so mei yong lar.
haiz.

but still.
thanks jie for wanting me to go with u.
cos u dun wanna those words to hurt me.
but i chose to stay.
thanks anyway.

and i realli enjoyed the outing with u yest.
right from my heart.
thanks for the hug hug too.
ilu.
looking forwards to X'mas (u must be happy to see this)
we like idioits taking those x'mas pics.
but it's v fun!!


oh ya look at the pic below.
my poor didi.
fall from bike and his mouth got injured.
omg.
look so pain.
and my poor jie jie kanna punch by opponents also.
omg.heart pain.


and that the xmas hat i bought for them. =))

getting started.
600 skippings today.
cannot stand.
feet pain.whahaha.

gonna do some toking by using pics for the past 1 wk.

and noe wad.
im still in love with the cap.

and jie.
be honoured kz.
i wanna ppls to take pics of me while playing bball also dun have.
haha

i guess im jus crazy.
been thinking will u appear of me b4 i left.
hahaha.
lols.
dunno why i think so much also.
craps.....
damn me.


still feeling moody.
lols.
few more hrs only and i wil be at the airport.
dun wanna say much alr.
take gd care.

Leaving tml and will be back on Sunday nite ard 10+.
Will anyone be nice and fetch me back?
Whahaha ok day dreaming agn.

I wanna throw all the stressed + sadness into the sea.
Let it flow to elsewhere and nv come back.
So that I can come back fresh.
With the happy smiley face on me.
Which I noe u wanna see long ago.=D

I will miss u terribly when im there.
U must know every moments, be it where am I and wad am I doing.
U r always in my mind. =)
And hw I hope that u r by my side.

Pls take gd care of urself when im not ard.
Dun always work work work and tired urself.
And of cos dun work so much till u forget to miss me.
Must miss me ok?
I know u will my dearest jie.

For the rest must miss me also ah.

Take care everyone.
And hope to see u guys soon.

To jie:
I know I said this a lot times le.
But still.
Im sorry for everything.
Be it hurting u.
Making u sad.
Making u cry.
Making u feel lousy or wad.
Im sorry.
I myself really know it in my heart that u have done ur best le.
U have put in a lot efforts in this sistaship.
And u have done a lot for me.
But still I treat u so bad.
Dui bu qi.
Treat u this way its hurt me also.
And u shld noe the hurt in me is not little.

When im back.
Lets start everything fresh kz.
Wo men chong xin kai shi.
Be back the best sista in this world.
That all the others sista or even couple jealous kzz.
Haha take really gd care of urself.
And dun be so stress kz.
Most imptly.must miss me.
Mon I will go down and look for u.
I guess I wun go down too late.
Yehs.

Misses u lots.
I love u sista.

Been feeling sad, moody and lousy for almost a wk already.
Lolls.
I think when I turned 21, things became worst.

Nothing could really make mi smiles now.
Starting to hate X’mas.
(though every yr im so much looking forwards to X’mas, the place, the fun, the atmosphere and of cos being able to celebrate with u)
Becos I realized during this period.
Our distance became wider.

Will my love for X’mas be back ???

I always got emo and xin suan when I wrote all this.
Im closing myself up alr.
Im avoidin more.
Im starting to runaway.

U din noe that im missing u every moments.
U wun noe that im missing u every moments.
U wun noe that I so much wanting to msg u and smiles at ur msg.
But I chose to not reply and runaway instead.
U wun noe hw much I wanted to hug u tight and hold u when u r by my side.
To tell u tat sista ‘I love u, and I wanna treasure u forever”
U wun noe how much I wanna u to sayyang me, and let me know that u will be there protecting me.
U wun noe hw impt u r to me.
U wun noe how my heart break everytime.
U wun noe how much I wanted u to send me off and giving me another hug.
U wun noe how disappointed I am when I noe that u cant.
U wun noe how sad I am when I cant be with u during X’mas period (instead someone else does)
6 words to describe all.
U wun noe how I feel.


Obviously ur work cover my words.
Becos I rem I requested everything before even ur exams.
My words jus weigh not enuff.
It alright.
Work more impt.

No time cos of school.
No time cos of exams.
Now no time cos of work.

U asked me why wed I cried.
Ya it cos thinking of all the shits, misses, then being emo and sad.
Then cried.
Jus like wad im feeling right now agn.

Dun wanna type alr.
Cos the more I type.
The more painful my heart is.

Jus wanna let u noe.
If u need me, I will still be there.
Take care when im nt ard.

I jus cant control my tears.


Leaving in 2 days time.
Bye readers.

I hate all this.
I hate feeling this way.
I hate to be sad and moody everyday.

Why cant u sense that im nt happy?

Im waiting for ur sms everyday.
Though I din msg u.
Becos….

I dunno.
Feeling real sad.

It ok ba.
Cos I cannot say or do anything.
U will nv understand me.

If 1 day I met with accident and u r working.
I guess u will only visit me after ur work.


My presence to u doesn’t matter at all.

jiayou for ur teaching =))
u will be a wonderful teacher 1 day de.
=))


so fast and it's monday agn.
nvm shall look forwards to tml cos my mum not working =))


haha i need more money pls.

i shld be contented that u r by my side for the last few dayz.
xie xie ni.
and ur leg better le.
that realli great for u. =))


while mine.
getting worst and worst each day.
make me feel like giving up le.


ur schedule so tight.
instead of meeting more during ur hols.
haha.
i think we may meet less right?


zhen de hao xiang ni.
my lovely sister.
that day tok to u abt the past in ur rm was great =))
more pls.

10 more days i will be leaving.
imu.

yao xiang wo wor.


need go sinseh asap. =((

Yest was a bad day.
Initially mood wasn’t that good alr.
Then went down to skcc for bball session.
Intend to play till I shuang.

But know what.
Before I start to touch the ball.
My jie injured herself alr.
And of cos.
It make mi no mood to play alr.
Somemore team up with few that I dunno.
Sibei sian.

I duno lar.
Cos I think 1 or 2 dun like to pass the ball to me?
Then im like inside doing nth?
Lucky I scored a few pts.
If nt will be worst !!!
And those guys play til so rough!!!!
Freak.
If they are not bin friends.
Think I wil whack alr lor.
Kaox.

Ok then played one match jiu nv play le.
Cos no mood.
So decided to go back jie hse cos cant be letting my jie walk to another court.
Or even let her sit outside alone watching us play.

Ha.
Instead of her taking care of me.
Now I got to take care of her agn.


I hate to see u injured.
I hate to see u in pain.
I will rather want the pain to be on me then u.
Wanna help u carry bag u also dun allow.
Wan help u this and that u also dun wan.
And u still go work.
Work is it so impt to u then ur leg?
U always want me to listen to u.
Then y didn’t u listen to me also? =((

Ni zhe men bu xu yao wo ma?


And of cos.
Its goes my sat too.
1 more sat.
And I will be leaving.

was on mc today.
went to doc and asked him abt my side that is so painful this few days.
he says think it muscle injured.
so gave me some muscle relax pills.
and also some nerve vat c.
hope will help to cure my nerve.
cos i dun wanna be in this painful state for life.
=(

watched Hot shot at hm.
v nice.
everytime i watched all this bball show.
i will love bball more n more.
or maybe can say.
the love i had for bball has nv decreased.
i loving playing bball.
challenging urself with all the guys.
be it how strong or big size they are.
see the balls chop in fron of them.
burned them.
the feeling is wonderful.
but of cos it does make mi sad at times too.

and it has been so long since i played a full court matches.


hao xiang ni wor.
tml will be ur last paper le.
jiayou.
i know u can do well de =)

sometime i realli felt the distance.


so much wanting to call u everytime.
but end up i nv.

i wanna have more time pls.


i realli need to cut off the fats from my body !!!!!!!
i wanna play bball everyday!!


wanting so much for fri to come.

a pic of us.
wo xiang ni.

Recently a lot things happening to me.
Thus, my mood nt v gd.


To everyone and anyone,

Pls pardon me if my attitude is not v.gd.
Hope u guys understand.


And to those that I needed u,

Just be there for me.

when im alone.
when im sad.
i will take out photos and view.
and everytime i view it.
i will be sad.



was viewing friendster profile.
and saw 1 of the sec sch classmate.
she become so pretty.

then im thinking.
why ppls can change so much?
why others can change?
but why not me??



and the answer is.


becos im lousy.
i dun have the determination.
dun have the motivation.
and dun have the confident.



jus plain lousy.

not feeling good this few days.
=(


while im in the bathroom jus nw.
this topic came into my mind agn.
that it will eventually affect me.

why do the world treat me so unfair?
or maybe i shld say.
why ppls treat me so unfair?


ppls will always tell me or asked her this.
" she is a nice person, cherish and treasure her. dun take her for granted"
or
" why is shaohua always following u wherever u go?"
or
" why she is always sticking to u?"
..etc etc

freak.
see.this is so UNFAIR to me!!!!

why didnt ppls tell u this.
"shaohua is a nice person, cherish and treasure her"
etc etc...


am i realli so lousy?
is it really my prob?
why everything is so unfair to me???
wadever.

maybe it is really jus me.


shall not say aniting alr.
cos my mood is v v v v bad now.


to everyone.
im jus a attitude, lousy, sux person.

You've been there through out all that I've done,
And our friendship is more than true.
We are two, but we stand as one,
And I don't know what I would do without you.

You're always there when I need you,
And I can't believe all the things that we've been through.
No one ever gets me the way you do,
And it's all because you're just you.

You are my best friend,
and I want to thank you,
Because you've always brought out the best in me.
You always find a way to make me smile when i'm felling blue
And when i'm sad you always cheer me up and make me happy.
I don't think you will ever really understand
How you've touched my heart,
and made me who I am.

I don't think you could ever know just how special you are to me,
Because you're a better friend then anyone could ever be.
I hope you will forever be my best sister and my friend,
Because I know we will be best sisters till the end.

I will never forget you even if we are in the biggest fight,
I know will get through it, because we are too tight,
and it just wouldn't feel right.

You'll always be in my heart,
No matter how bad things get.
And we will never have to grow apart,
Because we will look back at those times and hope to never forget.
So this one's for me and you

To always help remember,
That miracles do come true,
Because you're my best sister forever.


it's fate that let me meet u.
- wo de sheng ming zhong bu nen mei you ni-

Haha I dunno why.
Have been feeling really slpy recently.
And it’s those extreme one.
Like when u close eyes can slp liao.
Lols.
I already slp early le lar.
Why am I still so tired?


So much wanting to achieve my target fast.
So much wanting to look good soon.
But all these need times lar.
And it’s a lot time.

Pray hard tml weather will be gd.
Or rather everyday weather will be gd.
Cos I dun wanna skip my swimming sessions wor.
Need more exercise =))


Oh another thing.
I need more money.
Money money roll in pls.
If nt I will be so poor forever. =((



Still got the urge to join hip hop classes.
Whahaha



i wanna cherish u more.

suddenly im feeling so much wanting to do a silly thing agn.
though i noe i will be so damn xinku n stuff.
but i dunno why, im so tempted to do so.
maybe cos it will let me b wad i wan faster?
lols.

but i noe.
i cant do it that way.
=((


so fast and it's monday agn.
i dun wan.
i only wan fri.


jiayou for your tests and exams.
=))

a happy day out for me yest and today my rest hm.


went ikea and giant yest.
to look for cupbored.
becos i got too much stuffs le.
haha .
and finally i got one.
and today alr deliver to my house le.
happy happy. =))


was watching "Hot shot" whole day at hm using my dad lp.
lol.
everytime i watch all this show.
i will love bball more n more.
though im getting older le.
and i seriously miss the training time.
the competition time and the team spirits...
nvm.
leisure is gd enuffs 4 me.


lols i got so many impt things to do.
1. clear my stretchmarks.
2. clear my fats.
3. exercise more to keep myself fit.
4. save money 4 my trips (cos i wanna go alot places with u)
5. legs and back revocery (hope it wil recover and not give me more probs and pains) =((
6. to be happy.
7. to have more enjoyable time with u.
8. wanna be with u more during nov and dec (u shld noe wad i mean)
and lots more...
haha alright..shall stop blogging and get back to my show.
and gonna pack my rm later if possible. =))


another wk to see u.
lols i shall wait.
misses =))