Emotions & Feelings

Wednesday, June 28, 2006;

wad's happening?
y so many things happen?
y cant we jus haf a peaceful n happy life??
sighs.
im seriously going crazy with all tis!!!!

save mi!!!!

i wrote...
7:47 PM

Tuesday, June 27, 2006;

shit.
hasnt study at all 4 tml paper.
wonder wad time im gonna slp tonite despite tml waking up early.
sian.
i hate tml paper!
i hate calculation!!
but at least hope i can pass.
full of fears.

huaixiaohai is dead.

i wrote...
6:39 PM

ilu jie.
no words can explain my love 4 u.=)

everyday.every hr n every sec i spent with u.
it meant alot.
tat wad u say right.?
i treasure n cherish u.
yes.
onli u.=p

i wrote...
12:08 AM

Monday, June 26, 2006;

i miss u.
todae msg v little.
n im feeling so weird.
shit.
nt tat we nv msg lor.
then im feeling like tat le.
wad's happening?

i wrote...
10:13 PM

the dream tat i dreamt of tis morning.
so scary.
make mi cried badly.
cant imagine if it realli happen.
wad im gonna do.
jus cant accept the fact.
if 1 dae u wil to leave mi.
realli dunno wad gonna happen to my life.
cos it meaninless without u.

sumtime sumday.
i still cant accept the fact tat my great grandma have leave tis world.

kinda sad abt my paper.
lots of mistake.
but nvm cos it over.
wed is the paper tat i fear most.
dead.
hope at least i can pass.

realli hope faster sat.
then i can enjoy le.

i wrote...
7:26 PM

Sunday, June 25, 2006;

im such a nice jie.=)
lols.
happy jiu hao.

tml paper!
woohoo!!
stress!!

jiayou.

i wrote...
10:14 PM

Saturday, June 24, 2006;

indeed is a SAT.
i online 4 5 hrs.
n there is no one online.
everyone must be out shopping.playing n enjoying.
except mi.
sighs.=(

I WAN TO BE OUT TOO !!!!

i wrote...
5:41 PM

i've realli got no mood 2 study.

stop being myself.

i hate the way i do.

imu.

dead.

zhen de hao lei hao lei wor.

i wrote...
1:13 PM

Friday, June 23, 2006;

slackin the hol dae.
shit.
hw?
2 days left.

wil i be able 2 finish?

no mood to study.

i wrote...
10:24 PM

Thursday, June 22, 2006;

feel like throwing all the bks away.!

study so much.
hope everything goes well ba.

i miss ur presense.
dunno y.
cannot imagine so many daez without u agn!!!
hais.
imu.

i wrote...
10:28 PM

Wednesday, June 21, 2006;

my jie is so sweet.
she carry my shoe bag 4 mi the whole dae u noe.
hahahaha.
she becuming sweeter n sweeter.
ilu.=)

i wrote...
9:56 PM

Tuesday, June 20, 2006;

i promise myself.
that frm tml onwards.
im gonna take gd care of myself.

nv well taken care of myself 4 a long time alr.

mugger.

i wrote...
7:11 PM

went to sch study yest.
but then in school.i dun haf the mood to study.
thus, ended up i din study much.
suppose to go jogging.but then friend wanna go gym so end up in gym agn.
it the 1st time i went to yck gym.
alot ppls.
but i dun care.jus do lor.
haha.
then reach hm at 9+ then bath le went to airport agn.
study with van n xy til morning 6+ then went hm.
oh gosh.
so tiring can.
but i can say study wil 4+ onli.
then saw eunice then slack.
xy is the onli 1 tat study non-stop lar.
then we headed hm.
we all slept mi bus.
1hrs + all the way to amk interchange.
yehs.
then i reach hm slept til 2+.
then wake up study.
but then.
it seems like nth goes into my head lar.
all the calculation
freak lor.
i dunno hw to do lar..
argh!
tink gonna slp late tonite agn.
n tml gym session in the morning.
whee.
then gonna study agn.
i;ve cancel both my workdaez tis wks le.
so i must study hard alr.
yehs.
determination n mentality.

i wrote...
5:22 PM

Sunday, June 18, 2006;

tiring dae although no government at work todae.
feet damn pain lor.
yehs.
realli realli tired.

xl said tat the camp was fun.
n tink cindy wil be happi if i go back.
i miss them too.
hais.
sad.

tml onwards.
im gonna be so crazy n stress le.
n busy too.
books books.
here i cum!!
argh!
hope everything goes well.

i wrote...
11:04 PM

18 june 2006.

2nd time it take off..

start..

it shall be nv ending.

i wrote...
12:02 AM

Saturday, June 17, 2006;

i seriously....wanna FA FEN TU QIANG la.

bcos...

i wanna be like u..

if 1 dae i bcum like u..

i wil fly high up the sky..

=)

i wrote...
11:10 PM

Friday, June 16, 2006;

all of a sudden.
open my pouch that kept all ur letters.
took them out n read.
felt so sweet u used to be.
all those words.
tat u nv leave mi.u love mi.u miss mi.
im sad reading it.
cos i miss those times.
i miss u writing to mi.
read 2 of the letters that u wrote in sept de.
that was when are close to us leaving each other.
lols.
-nv be replace is wad u say to mi-
but somehw.
i've been replace so damn fast.
maybe to u is long ago.
but to mi is jus like yest.

i wrote...
6:56 PM

i miss basketball.
i mean nyp.
i miss the fun with u gals.
where the past shaohua gone to?
y it seems like it so difficult to gif u up?
argh!
im gonna crazy.
all my dreams..blah blah blah.
have been smash by mi though.
wadever.

i wrote...
4:44 PM

wasnt hm last nite.
suppose to go airport to study.
then miss last bus then end up at serangoon.
cos mi n mei anihw take bus.
haha.
study til morning 630 then went hm.
the mac was so noisy.
cos world cup going on.
haha.
but after a while.
we used to it le.
then the 3am match.
mei ask mi guess hu will win cos i yest say wad also v ling.
then i say sweden.
then in the last 4 mins i tink.
they realli score a goal lor.
ahahaha.
lols.
im indeed ling.
then i slept at 8 all the way to 3 then woke up.
hee.
i love slacking at hm at times.
hehe.

thx mei 4 the letter.sweet n chocolate.
although i noe u wun get to read tis.=)

dun cry animore le.
it wil onli make my heart more pain.
although u dun wan tel mi.
it ok ba.
i wun force u.
cos im disappointed in u.

i wrote...
3:57 PM

Thursday, June 15, 2006;

went to sch to study 4 less then an hr then came hm liao.
all thx to xuelin n penny.
go far east cut hair.
end up i at hm.
haha.
but nvm
cos i going to watch match lar.
going out soon.
go bishan 1st.
so it means.
i've wasted 4 daez le.
wad the freak.
argh!!

all thanks to u whu let mi noe tat quan yan is playing tonite.
the hu send mi 3 fowards msges at 1 go.
whahaha.
take do care alright.
imu.

i wrote...
3:57 PM

Wednesday, June 14, 2006;

start.....

im seriously bored n tired of my life.
hais.
my life=sadness=no life

why others can do it but i always cant??
why why why?
i noe the answer..
but i jus cant do it right.
noe hw to say but no action.
yes.
that mi.
i too understand myself le.
that why im always so disappointed with myself.

it has been 3 daez le.
yet i haven start study.
i've wasted 3 precious days.
then in the end i got to sacrified 1 of my working dae cos i tink i wun haf enuff time to study.

dun u tink tat the time we mit n see each other became lesser n lesser?
wil it ever cum to zero?
i dun wish to.
but it alright.
cos i'll rem wad u said.
even if is jus a sec.
it still means alot.=)

going crazy with all the worries n unhappiness.
sighs.
i wan a happy life pls.
may all worries go away.
all i wan now is to smiles n be happy everydae
to treasure n cherish those stil by my side n of cos.
start my saving la.
mum have been nagging alr.
but then i realli din spend much wad.
buying clothes thought is wad gals like to do?
im alr v gd le lor.
freak.hais.wadever.

i wrote...
9:59 PM

Tuesday, June 13, 2006;

my whole mind was all abt u yest.
till even the extend tat i dream of uu.
u was attached to a gal.
but dunno somehow.
i went to stay at ur hse.
yes.u was slping with tat gal while mi on another bed.
u covered the blanket 4 mi.
u was so close to mi tat i wanted to hold u.
but i dun haf the yong qi.
i wanted to hold u so much.
then u goes.
u left the house with tat gal after covering the blanket 4 mi.

i tink if tis goes on.
i'll go crazy!!
i realli will.
cos my mind gt nth else.
argh!!!

i wish tat i can forget all my memories.
forget whu u r.
so tat i wil nt tink.

suddenly woke up.
tink of u agn.
argH!!
tink of the hearts u made 4 mi.
the pig keychain u gave mi.
the light hp kaychain tat u gave to mi when i love it so much.
the letters u gave it to mi.(it all still with mi)
the file n the drawing(*shaohua* tat u draw during ur technical lesson)
the macaroni alphelets letter tat u used to make my name the whole nite.
u holding my hand.
rem the 1st time is the time when we 2 haven even together.
i jus go chase after u cos u dunno angry or wad.
ur highlighter all wrriten with the word *xiaokeai*
my wallet n pencil case with the word *huaixiaohai*
the time when i looked u up at hke.
n rem once when i went hm on the bus.
i saw u sitting on the floor cos u injured.
rem ur friends once msged mi cos u cried n sad over mi.
rem the time when i always walked u hm.
the time when u wanted mi to say *ilu* to u but i din.
rem the time when u cum look 4 mi n then we quarrel frm yck all the way to my hse.
u was chasing mi cos im angry n walk away.
rem the time when we were in sentosa.
they wanted us to kiss bt we din cos i shy.
rem our blog.
rem we quarrel at least 3 times a wk even it jus a minor matter.
rem janet chap into we 2 n scold mi when we r quarrelling.
then the next dae i broke off with u.
i was on the bus going gu hse.
reach her hse i was tearing like mad.
jus tat she dunno.
when i wanted to break off ni mei you liu wo.
tat why im more disappointed.
u asked 4 patch on tat dae but i din.
after a few dae we tok on phone n u was crying on phone toking to mi.
1 of the dae i went to ur hse to look u up to make the star.
but nth was appreciated.
under the heavy rain when i gt paper the next dae.
all the way take rain to boon lay.
u used a towel to wipe mi.
all i noe i could wan u back.
but no..
then till todae.
wo hai shi bu nen fang qi ni.
i noe.
if i nv find another 1.
u wil be the 1 im thinking of all along.

i wrote...
11:07 AM

Monday, June 12, 2006;

i've told cindy coach abt nt playing 4 nyp le.
it means.
im officially out of nyp bball.
kinda sad.bu she de.
but i got no choice.

i wrote...
2:28 PM

wo hui hao hao guo.
deng ni zai ai wo.
zhong you ge jiao duo.
hui rang ni xiang qi wo.

i love i hate u.

i wrote...
1:18 PM

Sunday, June 11, 2006;

msg u tis morning.
told u tat u nv been true to mi b4.
ask u go n listen to tis particular song.
wanna let u noe wad i wanna say to u.
suppose to send u the lyrics tonite.
but then i decided nt too.
cos all tis.
wil make u more fan.
n it doesnt make ani difference.
u wun zai yi wad i wanna say.
n wad more.
u wil show it to her.
nth i send u wil be personal.
i dun feel the security at all.
yehs.
jus wanna say.
stay xingfu.
do take care always.=)

tml gonna stay hm whole dae.
tat wil be bored man.
sians.
book book book!
im going crazy!!!

got my coin pouch.
happy happy.
it so cute.
n got 2 lucky chain tat can be hang on hp mi.
1 for jie n 1 for mi.
it so cute.
hope u like it alright.
i heart u.

i wrote...
11:25 PM

Saturday, June 10, 2006;

stupid bro of mine.
onli noe how to make my mama worried n sad onli.
spend so much when he nv earn.
take xtra money frm my mum.
then mama ask him dun smoke still smoke.
then when he is having his o.
he stil go out everydae.
nv study at all.
he is prepared to fail ba.
might as well go out work nw.
cos he dun even like to study wad.
yehs.
kinda irritated by him la.
maybe cos i dun like to see my mama sad.=(

jus came back frm work nt long.
feeling so so tired.
tml another dae.
yehs.
jus hoping 4 wed.

poor jie got to work til so late cos of the midnite madness.
poor u.
must take care ok.
im waiting to get my coin pouch.
still feel sad at time cos of the wallet.

n i miss the nike dunk agn.
argh!!=x

i wrote...
10:58 PM

Thursday, June 08, 2006;

im still sick!!
it has been 3 days le.
sad sad.
i wan faster recover.
hate the feeling of being sick lor.
so damn bloody xinku.=(

todae pia presentation in sch b4 i came hm.
cos tml presentation le.
actually my friend say wan draw my design 4 mi de.
then sumting happen then he cannot draw 4 mi.
n todae then i noe la.
so last min.
kinda pissed but nvm.
cos i've alr finished le.
hehe.

there sumthing inside my mouth that is pain la.
dunno wad sia.
hope it recover soon too.
yehs.
happy happy.
cos tml last day of sch then study brk le.
woohoo!!
but tink i wil sian.
cos i wil either stay hm or go sch study.

every wk i onli qi dai wed.
cos onli on that dae.
i can go out with u.
hope every week that u r looking forward to is also wed kz.=)
ilu.imu.always in my heart.=p

i wrote...
10:17 PM

Wednesday, June 07, 2006;

kai jian ni shi bu shi yi jian hao shi?
wo shan xin.ke shi wo hen kai xin.
kaixin shi yi wei wo hen xiang ni.wo zhong yu ke yi kan jian ni.
shan xin shi yin wei ni rang wo xiang qi guo qu.
rang wo xiang yong you ni.
li kai ni shi wo de cuo.
wad am i thinkin nw?
i dunno.
seriously dunno.
im all blank.
it jus bcos of u.-09-

went to play bball at pcc.
now my feet blisters.
pain man,
haiz.
but nvm cos it was fun.
jie n diana.hope u 2 do enjoy.

then went watch quan yan match.
saw sumome.
yehs.
wanted to do sumthing but i cant.
nvm.
onli diana noe wad im toking.
elizabeth n pris was like nagging mi to ask mi go back team.
kana scold.
hais.
u gals tink i bu xiang hui qu?
but i realli got no time to commit.
realli.nv lie.
i love bball too.
i wanna be 1 of the best too.
i wan once again to be proud of nyp too.
to represent nyp.
whu dun wan?
hais.
i jus tink tat i realli cmi.
u think my hrt nt there mehs.?
seeing u all happy n close alr make mi sad le.
cos i've drifted frm u all.
noe u gals miss mi.
but i realli dunno.
i miss u gals too.miss cindy.
she is my best coach.i learnt frm her.
but yes.
tis time i think im realli giving up.
wo bu xiang de.xiang xin wo.
cos....
NYP 4EVER RAWKS !! nv forget the memories we had de.

im sad cos of the wallet.hais.
cos it frm u.
i treasure it.

i wrote...
11:28 PM

Tuesday, June 06, 2006;

wad the fuck.
so busy n stress with my presentation n my ug.
im still lack of 6 exercises.
y after so long.
i stil so cmi.
wad the.
im realli feeling so terrible.
n common tests cuming.
sighs.
so much in my head.
tis sem i always fall sick.
also duno why.
n tml gonna stay at hm.
my onli 1 dae off also nid to stay hm.
wad the freak la.
hate tis feeling.

im feeling so sick.
whu wan to take care of mi?

i wrote...
10:57 PM

Monday, June 05, 2006;

im jus another weird kid.

i guess im jus too emotional.
n im always making myself sad 4 nth.
pure nth.
jus simply tink too much.

i wan u.

i wrote...
10:25 PM

Sunday, June 04, 2006;

is education n money so impt?

im feeling so tired.
dun wanna tings to happen the way i dun wan it to.

i wrote...
10:34 PM

Saturday, June 03, 2006;

i gave up 4 playing 4 nyp.
i gave up all the times 4 miting my friends.
tink im bounce to gif up alot of times.
cos i dun haf the time.
i got to work.to study.
tis 2 alr occupied all my time le.
but i dun mind.
cos i noe tis 2 wil make my life beta.

im so touched by all tis.

audrey--> she say *shaohua, r u alright? we r always there 4 u.u r strong right?all cg players r strong*

jie--> giving mi surprise by cuming to look 4 mi at midnite. giving mi the letter n food.esp the aixin bread.(cos i ate little tat few daez).n pei mi jus 4 that 45 min the next dae cos i wanna see u.

van-->tonningg with mi til 7+am when she got her national training at 7am.in the end she skip cos she is too tired.u r always doing too much.n stating sorry cos u wasnt there 4 mi.no.u r there 4 mi.thx.

mei xy-->thanks 4 accompanyin mi cos im alone.even though u r so bored.nv forget tat u always send mi hm.

yunya--> sendin mi msges after u went hm to ask mi to drink more water cos weather is hot n ask mi to take care.

candy-->sayang mi the moment u saw mi.treat mi like a little gal always.kip on asking if im ok.u r jus like another jie lookin after mi.thx.n of cos forcing mi to cal summone whu i duno *jiejie*.n cos i ting ni de hua.i did called. even jasmine i also cal jie onli lor.nv cal jiejie lor.it's like so weird.

birds-->4 cuming on the 3rd dae afternoon to pei mi agn.

thanks everyone.

i wrote...
2:15 PM

Friday, June 02, 2006;

i wanna thanks bird.audrey.melvin.buibui.gh n katek 4 cuming on the 1st nite.
i wanna thanks jiehao n jie 4 cuming on the 2nd nite.
i wanna thanks candy 4 cuming on the 3rd dae.
i wanna thanks budz van n xinying 4 tonning with mi on the 3rd nite.
i wanna thx yunya 4 cuming n look 4 mi on the 4th nite.

thanks everyone.
thanks 4 wad u guys haf said to me.
thanks u guys 4 sayangin mi.i love tat.
thanks u guys 4 all the food n letter.
thanks 4 ur words n action.
thanks 4 being there.
n also.thanks those whu has msg mi.
thanks 4 the bai jing too.
appreciated it.

i wrote...
11:47 PM

useless sista.
failure.
im sorry.
wil try my best.

i wrote...
11:24 PM

she is now gone n forever.
tears.
jus cant stop falling down.
i miss u,great grandma.
do rest in peace.
we wil take care of ourselves de.
dun worries.
n i wil take care of my mum de.
all of us misses u.
-love-

i wrote...
10:48 PM