Thursday, March 31, 2005; im sorry
aiya.wadever.nt in the mood right nowi reach hm feeling uselessfeeling moodywanted to sit down n study 4 tml paperthen argh.forget iti noe it's my faultbut does tt mind so much to u n make u so angri?all i can say is im sorryim sorry im sorry im sorryi alr feel so useless n helplesscan u dun leave mi alone?dun like u to treat mi this wayim so sad n hurtim so affected by udui bu qi*i dun wan to walk without u*
i wrote...
11:22 PM
Wednesday, March 30, 2005; sighs.
jus came back hm frm sch.todae can say last dae of sch le.no more lessons alr.then fri gt this lab test which im damn scared.then startin next week exams alr.scared la.hope i can pass n go on to year 2 man.times realli fly man.so fast 1 year gg to pass le.frm year 1 going to year 2 liao.yeps.sumtime think back.why make myself lose a friend for sum stupid stuffz.i also duno myself.tis is an example whereby thingz u do n tt u regret.lols.but wad done has been done.no point thinkin it over.jus feel tt im so stupid.stubborn.jus like an idoit.lols.suan le.over le.yups.tink todae onwards i gonna be stress again ba.cos all the paper cuming.then jus like todae.went 4 the lesson but dun reali understand wad the teacher is trying to teach.it's so difficult lar.sighs.tink i gonna pick every pieces up frm the start.try my best ba.i jus miss the time.hate myself without the *DETERMINATION* in mi.sighs.
i wrote...
5:09 PM
todae wil be a bored dae.purposly wake up early to do my lab bk.but then end up doing a few ques onli.cos i duno how to do.then ltr gt lesson frm 2-4pm. going sch at 1.to copy lor.no choice.got to hand in todae.then i duno how to do.yeps.todae not working lor.cos act doing proj de.then now.proj also nv do.so think i cuming hm take a nap then study 4 c programmin lor.fri going airport again ba.yeps.im tired frm working lar.n it;s like it has been so many daes since i last saw them.sighs.i miss u guys lar.i realli miss u all alot alot.but no choice.gotta start a new life.so im trying to get used to it.everyone study hard alright.reall hope i can do well 4 all my papers lor.if not.sighs.i wil be veri sighs la.give mi all the blessing yeah.sista ar sista.noe u recently veri moody.sad n stuffz lar.i noe i wun be the 1 to cheer u up.not the 1 to make u happi.but there'r others that can make u smiles.i seriously hope u stay happy n cheerful lar.seeing u like tt make everyone worried lar.aniway.i stil wanna say.i wil always be here 4 u always lar.always staying by ur side.sista 4eva~love n miss ya.-hugs- give mi a smile.=p
i wrote...
11:41 AM
Monday, March 28, 2005; tired.
tiring tiring.jus came back frm work.altot is jus 4.5 hrs.but im realli tired..cos went to sch in the morning then went to work.yeps.tml working full..think im realli tired lar..n ya..i feel so bad n affected lar..cos fri gt to hand in tis project.then i nv do anithing.it nt i dun wan to.but it's that i reali gt no time.bz working to earn as much as i can.then i think they nt quite hapi.ok.admit it's my fault.sorry.then wad i do is asked my manager to let mi off on wed.he say tml then give mi ans.eh.hope can lar.if nt think i gonna kanna whack lor.yeps.i'll try my best.u all r my friends.shld noe my background now.wad i nid.hw tired am i.budz say u all wil understand.i hope u guys wil.im seriously tired of everything.if project cant be done by wed.most prob thur i nt gg training lor.no choice.yeps.
i wrote...
11:06 PM
in school now.having e-learning.but im nt doing anithing.decided to blog.yeps.jus finish the last presentation.hais.think it sux man.think gonna flunk it lar.the ans tt the teacher gave to us make the 3 of us disappointed man.lols.sighs.buy nvm.it's over aniway.hope i wil pass lor.yeps.going work ltr.kinda afected when my friends as mi do project but i din d.cos i cant dun haf the time.i gt to work.i felt guilty nt doing.but i reali got no choice.noe my background now.sighs.i also duno hw.fri paper alr but i also haven study.reali lack of time man.yeps.yest at work was fun.play bball with my manager while workin..lols.cos the 2 of us were doing stock taking.yeps.but im tired.reali damn tired man.exams.work.money.sighs,i nid to get alot of thingz.i tryin to save as much as i can.but it's kinda difficult.sighs.everyone.pls pray 4 mi.i nid that.for some reason.god.save mi n pls bless mi.realli? hope that thingz wun turn out that way.
i wrote...
12:22 PM
Saturday, March 26, 2005; tiring dae
tiring dae man.reali veri tired wor.yest night went to changi airport to study with vanz.we missed the alst train to airport.ended taking cab there.yups.then can say i study alone lar.cos she stupid la.keep on slp.haha.but cant blame her.think she is realli veri veri tired ba.was out whole dae at sentosa with cindy they all.yups.then we leave airport at ard 7am.she headed to CCAB for friendly.think she is late.while mi.went hm b4 going work.reach hm at 9am.slept 1 hr.wake up at 10 preparing to go to work.thx 4 the morning cal jac jac.haha.ya.then just gt hm nt long frm work.damn tired alright.todae time passed damn slow man.kaoz.stand till i so slpy n tired wor.yups.yes.i wil be damn bloody busy la.haven do my hw tt i nid to hand in on mon.nv do nw cos after blog wan slp le.then tink i got no time liao..cos ok.i working be like working 4 so many days lo..sun-11-930pmmon-straight after sch.frm 5-930pmtues-11-930pmwed-straight after sch frm 4-930pmthur.11-5pm.after tt ttrainingsun-11-930pmyeps..tt my working hrs next wk..lols..i gt a test on fri..hw am i going to study??i seriously got no time.sighs.no choice.work so hard cos i nid to earn much.suan le.lai duo yi dian is ok.then seriously worried abt sumthingif tingz wil to realli turn out tt wayi wil cry foreveri will sad forevern i wun be happy animoremay god bless mi n my family alrightpls.i'll pray 4 umay thingz turn the postitive way outyeps.*jac jac.i miss u wor.haha**sista.im worried.pls dun let mi worried alright.take care.hugs*
i wrote...
11:15 PM
Friday, March 25, 2005; hope u recover soon.
think of the past.jus came back hmwent to meet ruoyangbcos i borrow money frm himasked him to transfer to my acc but gt errorthen no choice but to meet himwanted to go central to meet him debut he insisted cuming to look 4 medun wanna he cum cos he alr so sick ledun wanna make him walk ardbut in the endhe is the 1 tt came overya.saw him.dun feel gdbcos he look so damn palerealli so different frm the 1 tt i knew last timeseeing him in this condition make mi veri sadhe is the closer 1 i've been withnow that he had illnessi cant help muchhe is always trying to put a smile on his face altot he is nt okalways telling mi he is feeling betterwhen i knew that he is in painim so sad to see him like tty?y there are all these illness to make ppls suffer?i hope he recover sooni wan to see the ruoyang tt i used to noethe cheerful 1take care. i'll pray 4 u*sometimes god seems to push us to our limits..he tests us beyond our endurance bcos he has greater faith in us than we have in ourselves.*
i wrote...
5:30 PM
why?
why my life like tt?
i seriously sad.piss n tired of everything
i hate my life right now.
why cant it jus be better abit?
why cant everything goes well?
family always quarrelled cos of money
wad the fuck man?
why my family is so broke?
i hate being so damn poor
hate the life of it
everyone suffered.
everyone sad
everyone unhappy
y?
i hate my life !!!
i wrote...
12:21 AM
Wednesday, March 23, 2005; feeling.
I got so much to writefinish my math class test and c programming common test todaeclass test was alright cos copy ma.then c programming..i think dead la.dun reali noe how to do.sadded man.sighs.scared i CMI.but nvm.it's over.1 more lab test 4 c programmin to go.dun realli feel gd todaecos was thinkin n kinda affected by my hp.hp gonna spoiltthen friend said y dun wanna sell it b4 it spoilt?i wanna too.but i cantbcos if i sell it.hw am i going to get another phone?i cant afford to get ani phone now.not at all.thinkin of borrowin money frm friens to get it 1stbut then decided nt toocos i dun think it gd n im nt used to borrowin money frm friends.yeps.nvmi wil try to work as much as i can.to save as much as i canin order to get the thingz i wani hate being poorthe like is so freaking fucklife without money is so bad n meaninlesshate that whole family is brokeeveryone gt to save upwad the hell.i dun wan life like thisit's so badsighs.cry.wondering am i thinkin alot again?think of the pastrecall all the happiness tt we had togethermiss the time we had togetheralways so happiwhy happiness cant stay forever?found out tt this sat gt friendly.i was not informedam i part of cg?sumtime i was wonderingdoes the team nid mi at all?no.i dun think soi felt so tiredi wan to give upim so uselessnt respected n needed like last timesad.demoralised.feeling faded.i dunnoi dun wan it to turn out this waymight nt be going out with u allto sentosa or wadcos i cant afford to go out at allno moneythat y todae i din went to look 4 u allnt tt i dun wanna tooso much wanted to go.to join inbut i cant.the feeling r nt gd at allthe feeling being aloneat hm doing nth n thinking wad u guys r doingmissin every single 1 of ui jus felt so emptyit seem like there's nth inside miexams cuming.nid to study alot.dun wanna fail.dun wanna repeatn hope exams faster endso that i can go work as much as possibleto earn as much as i canto save as much as i canto keep myself busyto catch up with u guys altot i noe tt it's difficulti dunnojus miss u guys.but i knew.we wil be drifted apart
*tong hua*
i wrote...
8:20 PM
Tuesday, March 22, 2005; a
todae had 2 presentations.im so stress n nervous.but oh wells.both of them are over le.at least my a lil better.altot there r stil 1 more presentation.but tt 1 dun nid formal.so it's alright.yeps.but after all my blog.i nid to get down to study ltr.realli gonna study.cos tml i got a common test(c programming) which i think it's difficult n i dun realli understand.a math class test.n a so called trial test tt teacher wanna see if we can go it.(analoge and digital) ..n all i haven study..yest onli study abit of c programming.still got a few chaps to go.then think tonite gonna slp late again ba.but it ok.cos after tml.i can take a break 1st.cos thur.fri.sat n sun also no school ma..then i onli left with 1 c programming lab test n there 3 exam papers..yeps.then at least my schedule is not so tight.yeps.how i wish all my papers faster over.so that i can be stressfree..if not think if all this carry on.i will go crazy.yeps.todae those o level takers noe their posting to wad poly or jc.then ke ching(my sec 4 classmats) was posting to my course.but she wanna appeal bcos she wanna go ngee ann.but i told her if she reali studyin my course.i can give her my bks.then maybe can help her a lil? yeps.yiming bro got into my course too.while for janice.u got into sport n wellness but u r nt happy abt it.i hope u so feel better can.u said that u r not happi n that u wun be happi.but then.y cant u jus start all over n be happy?it's not a bad course.i noe u r sad n have broken dreams ever since u gt ur result.but does it mean u gonna throw ur happiness aside?u sad u dun have the right to choose alr.n so all this make u unhappy.ok.if u said this.wad abt mi?i worst right.think of my situation.how i got into NYP? wad course am i in? ok..i noe u dun like mi comparing with u.but..i jus dun wanna see u always so sad n feeling down..unhappy..always putting on the fake smile in ur face.4 wad? can u jus start everythin anew? like wad im going to do too.i hope u do ..ok? being in NYP also nt bad.u gt so many of ur friends there.and wad more.u can join bball with mi.right? i noe u dun feel gd.but jus cheer up abit alright.oh ya..got an A for my PD presentations.hapi abt it.seriously hope i can do well this sem too.why everyone not replying my msges? damn sad lar..hais..i dunno..misses u guys alot..seriously alot..i miss the times tt we had together..
i wrote...
6:42 PM
Monday, March 21, 2005; why does all tis happen?
sighs.why all this happen?i alr so stress le still like that.my mum is sick.think she gt fever n quite serious ba.she look so damn weak la.1st time see her like tt.i got school.cant take my bro to sch.gt no time.i startin tis week wil be bz til end of all my papers ba.then now my mum is sick.hw am i going to take care of her when i myself so bz n stress..i gt no time.but i wil try to.to to help her take care of my siblings.dad purposly came hm early to help look after siblings.coz my mum realli cannot make it liao.yups..asked her c doc she dun wan.think cos she think tt the family is alr so broke le.dun wan waste money.but hais..health le.aiya..i dunno lar..asked her to go she dun wanna to i also cant do anithing.n tml is her bdae.sick n feeling weak during bdae??hais.life sux man.n think i wil nt in mood or damn stress ba.cos wed i gt 3 papers.then it's like i haven study.then i stil gt to look after my siblings. while studying also.sighs.they noisy or wad.i sure feel the stress then pek chek 1 lor.hais.i duno lar.hope everything goes well n my mun recover soon.cant do without her.she is the best mum ever.*pray hard 4 my mum*
i wrote...
4:53 PM
Sunday, March 20, 2005; for u.
i wil always be here for uto take care of u n to love ueven if the whole world leavei wil notcos i told u that i not gonna leave u alonei said b4 tt i will walk with uwalk with u till the end alrightsorry cant pei u todaeim bz with workbut my soul n heart wil be with uwil be worrying 4 ubut i noe nth wil happen to ucos there'is sumone to take care of u todaeyupstok to u on the phone make mi feel so impt to un u so impt to misumhow feltwe cant live without each othermaybe u canbut i canttake care alright.-=[ wo de sheng ming zhong bu nen mei you ni]=-
i wrote...
9:56 AM
Saturday, March 19, 2005; tired.
sighs.yest din went to airport.cos vanz dad nt aslp.then she cant cum out.ended up at mad monks.(which changes it name to HOME).went there cos i alr dressed up.style my hair.then nv go out i damn pek chek.ya.admit tt i felt irritated n pek chek lor.mood nt veri gd.haha.then take train.still miss the last train to clark quay.kaoz.then take cab down.no $ liao stil take cab.sighs.then lost my way summore.trying to look 4 the right places.but im jus so lost.kept on kanna scolding frm retard poon.she keep on saying i stupid.kaoz.mood nt tt gd liao stil like tt.ha.then was kinda bored cos HOME gt no ppls..realli so silent man.yeps.then everyone was aslp except mi.cos i gt to look after their belongin.was tired bt cant get to slp.6am.take cab with jie headed to her house n slp till 9++ ..din went hm.felt kinda bad.wanted to go at 9++ de but think teacher wun let mi mark attendance.then din go..went hm..4 abt 45 mins then went to work til 930.after tt went to cg court.purpose was to take discman frm jie.yups.then a little while when every1 go eat.i went off.din join them.yups.deciding wanna get the pink bottle ant.like it alot but scared waste $ lehx.but i realli like it alot wor.tml working full wor..ha..i gt no time to study..sighs.mon must chiong liao.!
i wrote...
11:16 PM
sighs..mama damn angri now.all my fault.duno wad to do.
i wan a hp.a new bag.a new pair of shoe.lots of shirt.
but i noe i could nv get it.
i wrote...
12:18 PM
Friday, March 18, 2005; missya~
i wrote...
2:09 PM
hey hey.in sch having c programming now wor..haha..OMG.think i will die starting frm tonite man..yeah..cos im going to the airport tonite...dun miss mi guys..wun be online..haha..noe y i go there?hehe..aiya..to study lar..till tml morning..siao hor?? yeps..think i siao too..then straight away tml morning go sch 4 lesson.frm 9-12pm.then after lesson straight away go work till 9.30 pm wor!! omg..i realli tink i wil be dead la..comfirm so damn tired n slpy de lor.haha..damn scared tml work i got no jing shan lar..hope i have k.give mi strength baby.hehe..yeps.n hope tonite i can reali put my heart into studying man..yeaps..yest dun have enuff slp also..cos i cant slp..lie on bed so long but then jus cant slp..sighs..then tis monring force myself to sch lor.no choice.say mus cum mean i mus cum..yeah..then hor..the giodano green shirt..i realli like it alot man.but then dun think i buying ba.cos damn broke now.seriously.then mus save lor..hais..nvm nvm lar..haha..hope they sell it 4 a long period of time lo.then next time i can buy..yups..but tink wil be difficult lar..haha..dun miss mi wor..will onli see u guys next week ba??? but..i will miss u all de..comfirm!! yeps..sista..jiayou n train hard alright..mus have determination to stay on alright.!!jiayou k.n stay happy lar..dun always so sad..put a smile on ur face always..!! =p always be here..jie arh jie..thx 4 the discman..think i wil thanks u everytime i think of it..haha..n be confident durint training k? be back the ah gu that everyone noes..ur form r cuming back..seriously..so continue to strive hard.wil be my precious jie always too.yups.=p jac,im nt avoiding u.jus dun wish us to quarrel always..i mean ya.we does see thingz different sumtime ba.but everytime cos of tt.we wil argue..then make both parties dun feel gd.yups.dun worry k..im still here..told u b4 tt i will be waiting 4 u infront..yeps.go plan ur schedule n do wad u wan.i noe u wil..tink if i continue.i got too many ppls to write 4.so..tink i shall stop..yeah..aniway..take care n jiayou everyone..train hard n play well in chong ghee. everyone of u rocks!!
i wrote...
1:09 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2005; tired n busy.
had a long n tiring dae.went to work in the morning til 5.then went to cg court to take a nap at the playground.alone.cos no 1 free to meet mi.sighs.yups.then lucky sarah went to court early.then at least there is sumone to pei mi.but it ok if she din turn up too.cos mus learn to be indepedent.yups.then after tt..training..training was alright..not too bad ya..yeps..yunya went sumwhere ard court.asked mi call her during break.she waited ard 45 mins b4 receiving my call.yeps.so sorry.then pei her.she dun look too gd when i 1st see her.look sad n moody.yups.then see her eyes like those wanna cry type.i dunno.hope she is alright.then straight after match.went off..went to pei her eat in mac..yups.pei her wait 4 bus then went hm ya..yups.tt wad my activities todae..hehe..erm..for my work...seriously.tink i like my job.the onli prob is that the pay realli too low le.sighs.nvm lar.no choice.also mus work.yeps.this few daez.think i wil be damn tired n busy man.starting frm tml.till sat night !! sighs.give mi strength.!!*our the other half will surely appear.it onli the matter of time.all u nid to do is jus to wait patiently*
i wrote...
11:54 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005; tired.
finally finish my comm skills paper..yeps..but this module nt finish yet.stil left with presentations.then next week gt c programming paper also.i think that 1 die man.yups.todae paper stil ok.nt too bad.hope i can do well ba.yeah..kinda buzy this few weeks till end of exam ba..waiting 4 the dae to cum sia..then i will be carefree..can leave everythin behind liao..yeah..but of cos..4 the time-being.study hard 1st ba..get gd grades..tt wad i wan..yeah.jiayou everyone.jus now XL to ask mi make myself frm on 9 of apr.match whole dae.aljunied cup i think.they invite NYP.playing against many teams frm malaysia.aljunied n stuffz.wil be a tough dae.but im sure tt dae..wil gain lots of experience.then recall..next thur.NYP dinner.means i cant go training.sighs.this sat nt going too..workin.im so bz nowadaez.stress too.hope everythin goes well.r u reali happy treatin mi tis way?i doubt ittt nt ui dun believe tt every msg tt i receieved frm ui feel so hurtu jus dunno hw much it hurt mi readin those msgesfinei wil jus leave
i wrote...
8:05 PM
Tuesday, March 15, 2005; -sighs-
I noe it's my faultbut it hurt to see u treating mi tis wayu nv treat mi like tis b4
i wrote...
10:29 PM
alamak..it late liao..i haven study 4 my paper tml..kinda stress lar..cos like lack of time wor..yups..then i abit tired now..sighs..dunno gt the mood to study ant..no choice la.no mood also gt to study..yups.tml must make it wor..yeps..then gt 2 presentations next week..stress too cos sum of them present it todae..n they did so well..then make mi more n more jing zhang..haha..yeps..jiayou ba..OMG! it seems like my aim to be more gal it's difficult to accomplish man..cos i went to cut hair jus now..now cut lar..actually is trim onli..cos too think le..i dun like..then actually dun intend to style frm tml onwards le..todae i also nv style..cos like tt then wun look so boy mar..but then after the hair cut..it seems like if i dun style..i will be damn gone..n i will be so cool if i style it..so think gt no choice but to style it again man..yeps..n everytime the aunties finish cutting 4 mi..she will comfirm style it 4 mi 1..haha..dunno why also..but it's always so nice when she style it 4 mi ya..yeap..n i dun understand sumthing..y gal with short hair..style it..wear like guy..then comfirm kanna say they r bung ar? kaoz..jus dun understand lar..it the way ppls wan themselve to be wad..wan to be cool..wan to be fashion wad..esp bball players..comfirm tio 1 sia..kaoz..lols..so ppls out there..pls dun think tt gal with the above descriptions then comfirm is bung liao hor..lols..k lar..going to study..if nt ltr regret then die..yeps..oh ya..last but not least..gonna thx janice..alot alot for getting my blog done..im so happy yeah..all ur time n efforts in it..thx lots..i love u man..haha..take care of urself k..rem..keep walking..!!
i wrote...
8:40 PM
Monday, March 14, 2005; treasure everythin.
Omg..finally i can write sumthing here..jus now tried a few time.then cant blog le..saded..haha..lucky now can le..yups..intending to post b4 i gt down to study..haing paper on wed..bless mi man..yups..todae met janice..kinda happi to c her..brought her ard sch bcos i scared she is bored..so ya..show her ard lor..then chat..yups..1 hr..tt 1 hr passed so fast..yeps..but i treasure every mins ..janice-im so sweet right? ..hehe..u make mi treasure u more n more ya noe..hehe..*shy* another aim found..written in blog alr..everyone noe..haha..lols..jk..dun be too stress out ya..n pls..stay happy can..=p n ya..im so touch by budz man..lucky i found n read wad u left behind 4 mi..the msg..omg..im felt so wanted by u man..seriously..veri hapi n touched too..u r forever supportin n encouragin mi no matter how many times i've disapponited u..u give mi chances again n again..yeps..will feel so bad if i disappoint u again man..yes..im seriously now..steady n on with u liao..yups...but if i reali CMI.no choice lo..yeps..but wil stil jiayou!! yups..k..it time to gt back to study.!! pray 4 mi guys..
i wrote...
11:47 PM
went to work todae at expo..working with kelson.supposed to be either jie or guanhong de..but then jie too tired so ask sumone to replace her..then the stupid gh dun wanna work cos she wanna go hke play bball..idoit la..ps mi..make mi work with kel..weird weird 1..the feeling nt right la..haha..but nvm..we had a happi dae together also..we 2 so pro..fast n efficient sia..suppose to work till 8 de..1 hrs break..but then we claim tt we dun wan break..then work till 7 lor..but then we 2 damn gd lar..we finish everything by 6..haha..then act wan walk walk till 7 then go get pay..but then the ppls cum out then saw us ..aiya..then we cannot eat snake le..is either we do summore..work till 7 or pay suan dao 6pm 1 lor..then we decided to work till 6 lo..4 bucks onli..suan le..we work so long earned so little..sianz le..then we work till realli hand n arm damn pain..cant even move la..cos the flyer so big man..then gt to take on ur hand..then realli..ouch..my hand n arm..realli suan lor..buay tanhan..no choice la..working mar..wad to do..wei le $..lols..yups..then after work..i headed to town alone..kel din accompany mi there cos she was dead tired lar..dun haf enuff slp also..then she went hm to slp lor..yups..then reach town..went to far east buy the thing i used to haf but in the end gone..long wanted to buy..consider it 4 quite sumtime then decided to buy..haha..yups..then went to buy ear stick also..then went to find sista 4 a while cos it was jus opposite ma..yups..then headed hm lor..it was so early lar..n i cant believe tt i went to town alone..!! omg!!..lols..think it my 1st time man..haha..then on the way to mrt..sumone stop mi..it was liyana!! kachu!! haha..omg..miss her so much..saw her with her family members..her twin sister now look more like her..their hairstyle same same summore..look more alike..haha..yups..then look train..then bus hm..on the bus.was msging with ah mei..then she n vanz same same 1..saying same thingz to mi.encouraging mi all the time..yups..then duno y..sudden think that 4 now..i wan study hard n save alot alot money!!! haha..but 4 bball..i dun zai yi so much..dunno y..jus feel tt way..n im so glad tt i finally found an aim 4 the time being man!! yeah yeah..the feeling was so great..yups!! haha..i wan to jiayou..!! jiayou jiayou k!! hehehe..-keep walking- this is wad it's writting on my bend..the bend tt gonna stay with mi..lols..yups..my motivational bend..all the ways man..!!*yes yes..tis colous is my bend the colour..same as huishan..haha..nice hor*
i wrote...
2:42 PM
frm 1035pm 13 of march 2005 onwards.i wanna woo u
till i gt uu shld noe whu i am toking abtwhaha..im serious.haha.yes i am yes i amhaha.think im seriously mad.
i wrote...
2:35 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2005; haha
i din slp.cant slp.sore throatshe is still slpinggoing wake her up in 41 mins timelisten to machi didi now..omg yeah yeahso cool ~
i wrote...
9:17 AM
ha.now at jie house.she tis smelly pig.slping!! haha..she too tired le..yest so late then cum hm..serve her right.haha..ltr going training wor..but doubt i trainin.cos my feet..the blister damn bloody pain.cant even walk properly..haha..feel like training but think i realli cant make it lar.so think dun train better.ha.after blogging.i going into dreamland pei mi ah jie.if nt she gonna be lonely down there..yups yups..dun wan leave her alone..see i so gd..haha..k lar..take care everyone..enjoy training ltr!!!
i wrote...
7:26 AM
Saturday, March 12, 2005; feeling beta yest
yest morning woke up.went to work at sportlink.1st dae.was scared.but eventually everything was ok..hope they happy with my performance so that i can continue working there.i nid a jod.cant be able to survive without a job.yups.then after work.bird called.she was with jie.then meet them n went to court.play match..then trainings...alot ppls yest..yups..then as usual.when gt alot of ppls..coach will increase toughness of training..everytime like that.sianz man..yups..then training train train..was happy..but whenever played match ..then i will be so demoralized..cos i cant play well..sad lar..haha..yups..todae ..tml n sunday kinda no activities le..sianz..i dunno..wait 4 ppls to jio mi out ba...sorry..think i've disappointed u againit seems like when i wanted to start anewwanted to changei bcum worstevery single dae of this weeki pon all my morning lessonworstrealli worstduno y im like tti dunno wanna toobut im always feel so tired that i dun feel like waking upyups..n recentlyhaven been slping wellnightmare..which make mi cant slp.make mi fear of slpingsighsnightmare nightmarecan u pls go away?n let mi have a gd restyups.try try my best nt to disapponited ui noe u put high hope on mithx aniwaythen to another 1pls.i dun wan the way u r to mi nowi wan it like last timewhr is ur love to mi?now that u cant be therei dunno whu else can be therei wan u.rem wad u saythere is no sorry between usand we will be together foreveri noe u carejus that u din show out
i wrote...
6:17 AM
Wednesday, March 09, 2005;
pon lesson tis morning again.4 hrs summore.sighs.realli dunno wad the hell am i doing sia..dunno lar..so damn fuck up recently.everything is like so rush.got no time to study.u dun give a damn.feeling so numb right now.so disappointed n sad.hurt n moodyit has been 3 daeznvmforget it
i wrote...
12:19 PM
Tuesday, March 08, 2005; sad..happi..sick
sighs.u din reply mi.ever since yestu told mi u will msg mii waited n waitedbut u dinmsg u todae againagain u din reply mii give uphais..wanted to give up on msgin u long agobut jus feel so uneasynvm.now i wil try againhope u reply mi asapwaiting 4 ur msgtake care alwaysmy sorryshowing u attitudeim uselessi've changedi think aloti hope i wun like tis againto make u worriedto make u piss to see mi showin attitudemsg u alot times alsobut onli get 1 replyi noe wo hen mei yongalways doing sumthin n saying sorryhais..but all n wad i can realli say is jus sorryour love n care will nv fadeit will always remain as wad it isfeeling so sick nowtink i having fever soonfeel like going to lie down on bedbut i jus now slp leso dun dare slp againltr mama scoldbut realli having serious headachkinda xinkuwan study then sicksighsnot much time lefti got loads of thingz to dohope tml wil be betterbtw.pon my 3 hrs lesson todaecos alot ppls ponthen my partner ponso i poncos without himi sure diesure gt lots of difficulitesso i decided nt to gohaiswad the hell am i doingwake up plswent to so many places to interviewall it asked it to jus fill in the formsighswent to popular bookstore then to sportlinkthen chances of sportlink is higherthen reach hm they called miask mi go for 3 daez try outto see if i can make iti veri happin hope i can do a gd job n continueif nt wil kanna kick out loyups.a smile on face alwayspolitedun be shyjiayou !
i wrote...
10:53 AM
Monday, March 07, 2005; 06/03/05
i wrote...
2:17 PM
thx for always saying so so much to mi.i noe u carei noe u dun wanna be disappointedi noe u dun wanna mi to give up on myselfi noe i've changed aloti noe im not like last timemature n independenti noe im findin excuses all the time but i realli dunno howi now i shld appreciate wad i've i noe i shld train n work hardi noe i shld'nt think so muchi noe i shld'nt let them affect mii noe i shld spent more time studying then hangin outi noe im nt lousy in ui noe im nt useless in ui noe i gt to sort things outand goes towards my targeti noe i shld'nt be like thisi noe i shld't disappointed u again n againim jus so sorry.everytime u say all tis to mii criedbut yesti din altot i wanted tothx 4 give mi chances again n againthx 4 giving mi hope again n againthx 4 always being therei hope tis time round i wun disappointed u againi realli hope i can make ithope i can move on happilymake u happy to see mi like ttsee a smile on both ur n my facesi will nt try but i mustright?yes.i will try my bestbut i realli dunno if tis time roundwil i still disappoint u again?i hope not.sorrry for showing u attitude in the msg yesti was realli down n bad moodi care 4 ui worried 4 uu affect mibut i noe all tis is too muchi will controlwill treat u like a normal friendbut still will be here alwaysi noe u r upset..bad moodi try to carei try to helpbut i cant do anithing muchor can say i can do nothingsighs.pls take gd care of urselfeat whenever needed toodun tell mi jian fein i realli wan to see u happistudy hard n train well.u rockz man.forever sista.jie..sorry..dun dare to msg udun dare to call uwonder hw u feeling nowhope u r okdun say i changedthe care n love 4 u is stil as muchthx 4 helpin mi whenever i nided uhope to see a smile on ur face alwayspls tel mi tt u r okbcos i carerem tis--wo de sheng ming zhong bu nen mei you ni-
i wrote...
4:10 AM
Saturday, March 05, 2005; a dae with fun..
haha..haiving com programming lesson now..stress sia..now..i got 3 projects le..n i haven even started lar..lols..nvm..i shall start todae..haha..erm..yest training veri fun le..train till veri happi also..yups..but was kindae disappointed when palying the match..sighs..dunno lar..maybe is i think so much...yups..yest a few new ppls came..haha..and 2 of them are ah bun my chiobu and amy my siata..haha..yups yups..hope u all enjoy the training..but not every training so lac de wor..so mus jiayou k..train hard..k?(u shld noe whu i tokin abt) ..jiayou..yups..and be careful during ur VROOM VROOM lessons lar..xiao xin k..yups..u told mi u r happy..i hope u do n u nv lied k..i trust u..tt wad i wan to hear from u..stay like tis always..a smile on ur face always k?cos im happy to c u happy..oh ya..tt *jas* ..yest then came de..wow..tink she is realli gd lar..n suddenly..she give mi the seh of cindy wor..haha..ltr bcum my ou xiang sia..haha..lols..craps..
i wrote...
5:52 AM
Friday, March 04, 2005; feelin that cant be describe.
Nyp lose to Nus by 1 pts.yesh..jus 1 pts..it's so wasted..but nvm..everyone tried their best.!gd game gals..im so proud of u all..seriously..i think every1 is proud of u all too..everyone clap 4 us..the team spirit is so high..the bonding is so gd n the team is so united!! if nt of u gals..nyp wun cum so far..wun get 2nd..so dun be sad..we r..together as 1..l fight again next again..yups..yes..i admit im sad..im disspointed with myself.find myself so useless..cant help much..can onli help with my mouth..that is the only thing that i can do 4 u all..sumhw..i feel i dun belong to u all..nt tt u all leave mi out..nono..u all din..it the feeling..it's jus so diff..so damn different yest..i noe..i noe u all treat mi as 1..but..my feeling jus make mi tink..sighs..u gals asked mi to jiayou..i'll try..n thx yunyun..for saying so much to mi..encouraging mi all the time and makin n asking mi nt to give up..thx alot..i will try my best..sighs..now raining heavily..hope it'll stop ltr..cos i wanna train!! pls...pls dun rain..hais..so many things to do but yet to be done..
i wrote...
6:10 AM
Thursday, March 03, 2005; rubbish..
i wish im the 1 to be by ur side when u r sadi wish im the 1 to cheer u up whenever u r downi wish im the 1 u look 4 when u r nt feelin oki wish im the 1 u think of everynitei wish im the 1 tt u always sms withi wish im the 1 goin out with ui wish im the 1 to share ur joys n sadness withi wish im the 1 tt u care 4i wish im the 1 u wanna tok toi wish u could treat mi a little betteri wish to see u smilei wish to see u hapii wish u would treat mi real with all ur hearti wish u nv lie to mii wish everything to be sinerencei wish there's a place 4 mi in ur heartdun like to see u saddun like to hear frm u tt u r cryindun like u ignoring midun like u neglecting midun like my dae without ur smsdun like seeing u so close with othersdun wan to be affected by udun wan to think of udun wan to be sad cos of udun wan to miss udun wan cant slp bcos kept thinkin of udun wan feel uneasy without msgin u
i wrote...
3:04 AM
Tuesday, March 01, 2005; gd luck!
tired..sp gals..gd luck 4 ya game tml..mus win k.yups.jiayou!!all the best to ppls taking o'level results todae.gd luck! =)im jus so tired..sighs =(
i wrote...
4:28 AM